Do You See Amanda Again After the First Date

Grayson Ullman, 23, content strategist, and Amanda Botfeld, 23, inquiry associate, went to Oceanaire Seafood Room in downtown Washington. (Photos courtesy of daters)

Interviews by Ellen Ryan

Grayson Ullman, 23, a content strategist, collects Scotch, enjoys Lean Pockets and isn't into finance, consulting or politics. He says, "If she'south not [spontaneous], she will be after she dates me." Amanda Botfeld, 23, a research associate in Middle E affairs, describes herself as highly politically aware, just large on "boom shine and reality television and astrology." Both of these millennial writers like dive confined and the pic "American Dazzler." We sent them to the Oceanaire Seafood Room downtown to acquire if this is a complex tale or a short story.

Amanda: I had read that you lot're supposed to wearable red on a first date. I had this perfect carmine wearing apparel planned out, and then one of the buttons popped, and so I had to modify. I did make it just in time. I was right behind Madeleine Albright, so I figured we'd be in skilful company.

Grayson: Her dress was striking. She's very tall, which I loved. We greeted each other. It wasn't awkward at all.

Amanda: He was attractive in spite of wearing a crumpled push button-upward shirt. He was really tall, lean. He had good os structure.

Grayson: I was struck by her way with words; she leapt in without reservation.

Amanda: He takes a seat, scootches close and gives me a hug. I instantly felt safe and comfortable in his company.

Grayson: We had great intellectual chemistry. Conversation was engaging, witty. To me, the back-and-forth is more important than whatever physical look.

Amanda: He started asking me questions. He was a very good listener, and I felt like he was genuinely interested. I would definitely say the feeling was relief, like I could breathe because I hadn't been this nervous before a date in years.

Grayson: A friend had sent me a link to a Date Lab; I'd never heard of information technology [earlier that]. I was curious why she'd signed up. She had written on dating and culture for the L.A. Times. I thought, wow, she already has a journalistic angle on it.

Amanda: Then I asked why he'd rescheduled the appointment, and he said, "My ex-girlfriend was feeling deplorable, so I flew to Republic of ireland over the weekend to get encounter her."

Grayson: The expectation is that we'll get back together. I want to make sure being in a longer human relationship a year or ii from now is what I want to exercise. It doesn't put a damper on things for me. ... At that place'southward a lot of value to dating without long-term prospects. I wouldn't take brought it upward if I idea [Amanda] wouldn't be open to information technology. She wasn't fazed by it at all. [Pauses.] She didn't seem to exist, at least.

Amanda: It was clear that he was actually smitten with this girl. I asked, "Are yous thinking of getting married?" He feels similar he may have institute that person, but and so he said he felt an obligation because of his age to explore and ... only have no regrets. But it's hard when you lot're on a date and yous're being compared to someone else. That standard becomes not "Practise I like this person?" only "Are they better than what I already have?"

Grayson: She used to do handwriting assay. I don't put a lot of stock in that merely think it'southward fascinating. She spent 10 minutes and actually scrutinized [what I wrote]. Some of it was actually pretty accurate.

Amanda: I said, "Information technology looks like you're at a turning point, like [your script is] going to change over time," and I think that'southward representative of where I saw him in his life. He'southward thinking well-nigh going back to grad schoolhouse, he'southward thinking about screenwriting, he was thinking almost maybe [moving to] New York.

Grayson: I probably will stay [in D.C.] for iii or four years.

Amanda: He'southward living with his mother, and so he has coin to do a spontaneous trip to Ireland. It helped me in the showtime months [when I was] living with my family. I have compassion for that and his situation; information technology's just dissimilar from mine.

Grayson: We moved effectually quite a flake when I was younger, five states. I desire to see it through, then I'll be hither for a while.

Amanda: I love my company, and I moved cross-land because D.C. was my dream city. Part of my task is reading the news every mean solar day, and he's non that interested in politics. I think he was much more advanced in his relationship life, and I was a niggling more progressed in my career path.

Grayson: Information technology was a fun time. Nosotros were conversationally flirty. We were sitting very close; it was quite cozy. For me, it was more friendship chemistry, intellectual chemistry.

Amanda: There was some chemical science, but we're on different pages. We entered the engagement with all these interesting hooks, but then nosotros just weren't able to go deeper on many subjects, which kind of friend-zoned us.

Grayson: We called for Ubers. Mine arrived first, simply I told him to wait. We hugged.

Amanda: I idea information technology was classy that he waited for my car to come. I incertitude we'd meet in the future.

Grayson: [In that location was no exchange of numbers] partially because I didn't want to establish an expectation. I thought she was more than interested than I was romantically.

Charge per unit the date

Grayson: ii [out of 5]. I know I'm non interested, merely I really had a bang-up time.

Amanda: iii.viii. There was an initial spark. The girlfriend was a bit of a
turnoff, and the more we talked about dating, the more I started to experience like just friends.

Update

The end.

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Source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/date-lab-when-the-ex-girlfriend-is-still-in-the-picture/2017/01/18/2bddf968-bd80-11e6-91ee-1adddfe36cbe_story.html

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